Bringing up children is not an easy task. A lot of people think that the biggest hurdle is giving birth to them. Some others think that it is finding the right education for them. Few also think that it is getting them married and settled. I firmly believe that all these 3 categories are wrong.
The most important part of bringing up a child is the day to day guidance and support. It is the values they are taught on a minute to minute basis not by lecturing and teaching, but by living them yourself and showing through practice. And this means that if you want your child to be truthful then being 200% truthful yourself. If you want to child to have and display discipline, then making sure that your own life in perfect order, your own matters are in your control and you do everything yourself that a disciplined person should do.
While I will not claim that I am some kind of an exemplary parent, I have surely tried to live my life by this thought process, which is why I am reminded right now of this wonderful adage:
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
― James Baldwin
How true this is, I cannot emphasize enough. Parenting is a life changing decision because you are really changing some little one’s life by everything that you do or say consciously and subconsciously. I love to read up and learn more about how to be a good parent and there are some websites and books that never let me down in this. In this blogpost I would like to talk about one such website, where I recently read a very simple but highly insightful article. Before I start talking about the article, you can read it here..
I love how all the points are very concisely and clearly stated. I wholeheartedly agree with the author, especially on the first two points. Statements like “What’s wrong with you?” are much deeper than what they seem. They may make the child question his or her entire personality – such sweeping statements are best deleted from your vocabulary with your child!
Children are innocent and guileless. Some of the things they do may seem as silly or stupid to you, and that most likely means that you have old and boring and not that they are stupid. So please never never call a child stupid if you do not want to scar her or him for a long time.
While the first two points rang the bell immediately with me, I do agree with the others too. Thinking that time out in a different room or a corner will help the child meditate on the mistake committed may not always work, instead may make them feel rejected or banished. Not understanding or empathizing with their feelings may again make them feel as if something is wrong with them. They are as much people are you are –just because you are chronologically older does not make you any authority on what is right or smart. Hence please refrain from belittling your child or taking her or him for granted. You will be shocked at what they are capable of!
“We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.”
― Franklin D. Roosevelt, Great Speeches